“Mommy, I had a dream you went to heaven”
On the way to school Friday morning, Lily starts a discussion on dying and an empty world. I’m seriously glad I have at least 15 minutes to direct this conversation. I’ve learned you have to be ready when they are to maximize your power of influence in the young mind. So this conversation leads to…
Lily: “Mommy, I’ve had a dream you went to heaven.
Me: “Really?”
Lily: “Yes you were driving there. (Pause) That doesn’t really work out because you can’t drive above the sky.”
Me: “No baby you certainly cannot. You know, when I go to heaven, no matter when or how that will be, you need to always remember I LOVE YOU! and to help take care of Harper for me, okay.”
Lily: “I know, I will. I hope I remember when I’m older because I’m just a kid right now. I remember now, but when I grow up it might be hard to remember everything from when I was a kid.”
During my drive home, I now have 15 minutes to reflect upon our casual conversation.
…The choices I make are ultimately what I have control over.
We’ve all wondered about the significance of dreams…especially ones that children have which are vivid enough that they remember to share. I ask myself the question: Does this mean perhaps I’ll die in a car accident someday? Will it be from another driver’s negligence or my own?
How tragic if it is my own, because my choices are ultimately what I have control over. This sets the tone for my entire day. I’m drawn to remember this device seen on Facebook the day before.
http://www.facebook.com/imwatch?group_id=0
It occurs to me that every piece of technology that is to “make life more convenient” also has the ability to make life more dangerous.
Later, I was walking our dog, Petey, and was tempted to let him off the leash just before we reached the door so that he could run a bit more free towards our house. A fearful thought catches me about the two wolves we saw last weekend playing during the day on a busy street.
I thought: you can never get too comfortable…
Is that living in FEAR? Or is it living RESPONSIBLY? I’m taken back to the nifty watch as a distraction and quickly led to my own thoughts as being equivalent to the same distraction. I refocus…
I’m now fixing dinner. Our food consumption has changed drastically since the diagnosis of Harper’s CDKL 5 disorder. Our knowledge of nutrition and how our body uses food as fuel is complex, and the change is gradual. It has been a struggle to get Lily on board with this diet change as somehow our initial “first-time parental good intentions” from 5 years ago had been replaced by convenience, before Harper came along. As I prep the plates, I am drawn to remembering the video Hungry for Change, http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/03/24/hungry-for-change.aspx , and I’m taken back to my question from the morning conversation with Lily, Will I die from the negligence of another or my own? I realize the balance between fear, responsibly, and distractions pertains to many aspects of my life, not just driving and walking the dog but also in simple things, even our food choices. I must maintain balance with reality…
keep it simple and begin to add more good into your life and eventually, gradually you will inevitably, push out the bad.
I find it humorous how one kids casual conversation of a dream which came and went for them in the 15 minute drive to school, impacted the thoughts of my entire day! Has this ever happened to you? Leave your comments below…