As I stood by Harper in PICU at Medical City Dallas these last 12 days separated from my family yet again, I said to myself something good has to come from this, her life just cannot continue to be this hard! I recently discovered the practice of Ash Wednesday is actually observed by many different Christian denominations, not just Catholicism. So, for this years 40 days of Lent I would like to give up seizures! 🙂 Unfortunately, it does not work this way.
I recently received an email that encouraged me to continue to look for the blessings through the struggles! This is something we always attempt to do but at times can be difficult. This is true for all regardless of the struggle. So, for these next 40 days instead of attempting something beyond my control I will choose to embrace this gift given to me!
The email I received references a blog post titled: “HOW BIG IS YOUR BUT?” with several encouraging versus attached intended to change my “BUT!” The idea is that we all face obstacles and some find victory while others live in defeat with the difference being their BUTS! It is suggested that with every obstacle we use an exclamation of a “but God..”
In the several encouraging versus listed exclaiming “but God,” one hit me! Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” At the time I read this verse I had a massive amount of anger flooding my heart. Not anger toward God but anger toward the multitude of individuals unwilling to address Harper’s Case and allow her to continue in her suffering despite the documented data presented simply because of a lack of published research; research that in my mind has to start from someone being willing to entertain a possibility.
I contemplated the first part intensely and realized it is not those individuals intention to harm Harper but rather it is Satan’s intention to prevent us from bringing Glory to God. Anger hardens a heart and creates a distraction. At that point I began to think of all the good that has come from Harper’s resent suffering and realized the list is long! More has been accomplished in Harper’s favor in the last 12 days than we would have been able to accomplish on our own at home with our normal life schedule during that same amount of time. In that realization all that is left say is Thank You Jesus!